July 23, 2008

stella for star

Thank you, Bravo, for picking leatha-lovin' Stella as one of the Project Runway contestants. When life seems busy and overwhelming, all one has to do is listen to her insufferable whining and one immediately feels better, happier, as shiny as a plant. "I'm very urban and that reflects in my design." (Yeah, right.)

Talking about design, what was up with this week's challenge? The designers had to create a cocktail dress out of "green" fabrics, and, shockingly, the models were in charge of the shopping at Mood. While the latter aspect of the challenge created some drama, the eco-aspect seemed completely superflous and, to quote Stella, didn't reflect in the designs at all. Instead of 15 cute chic cocktail dresses in 15 shades of green, like this one (my first interpretation of the challenge was to take the term "green" literally, after all, guest judge Natalie Portmann, who was described as an "environmental activist" wore a cute, chic green cocktail dress), we saw a bunch of uninspired, ill-fitting, overworked, "crazy short" dresses -- dresses so short that even Heidi Klum said she wouldn't wear them. (Yeah, right.)

Tim Gunn even ventured as far as describing one dress as a "hot mess", can you believe it? Listen, Blayne, this is how you do it: First you impress the audience and the juges with your sartorial designs, and then you come up with a catchword. If you reverse the order, or just never create a great design to begin with (and let's face it, that pink bubblegum dress of yours was pure fug), you are in no position to call your model a "licious miss". Get fierce first, or leave the poor suffix alone. (It now has its own entry in the OED, along with hunkalicious, bootylicious, spooklicious, and groovalicious -- see, you're not being terribly original.)

On to greener pastures next week. Yeah, right (also has its own OED entry -- first quote is from 1971.)

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