February 07, 2008

i am diva, hear me moan

What does it tell us about Christian that he identifies sounds that are described by Jillian as "crazy war noise" as "sex moans"? Well, let's not go there. Let's just say that this week's epiosode of Project Runway wasn't as bad as expected (given the trailers), but really made you wonder why there are so few conceptual challenges this season, in particular so close to the finale at Bryant Park (which will be filmed tomorrow).

The designers had to create an outfit for a group of female wrestling stars, known to some (or many) as the WWE Divas [from Latin "diva" = female deity]. Essentially, this was the Sasha Cohen challenge revisited, but with a lot more, um, tootie.

What is a designer to do if the client describes herself as a "classy sex pot"? Poor Sweet P., she picked the tackiest fabric in the store, aptly named "SpandexHouse", described by Christian als "tranny ice-cream", and didn't know how to turn it into something mildly interesting. You know you've reached a low if Tim Gunn suggests in desperation that the look could perhaps be mitigated with feathers.

Christian, as usual, didn't spend too much time worrying and easily adapted his trademark design (tailored poufy sleeve jacket and slim pants) to the occasion and the oh-so-original demands of the client (leather and lace). As usual, it was the most accomplished look on the runway, and also as usual, the judges wisely gave the win to another designer, in this case Chris. Don't spoil the puppy.

This was a challenge in which Chris's over-the-top design experience came in handy. Clad in a leopard-print shirt himself, he created a two-piece ensemble with a greenish leopard-print hoodie that his client loved, but that made me think of ...morels. Not fierce. Also, I'm not so sure about the functionality of the low-cut boy-shorts. They look like a garment the client might wear while getting a Brazilian wax.

Jillian's design looked somewhat functional and athletic (a big plus!), but those white knee socks seriously put me off. Dressing up a grown woman, a wrestler at that, like a school girl gives me the creeps (the judges, however, called her "a sexy tomboy"). Ricky was sent home with a design that consisted of an orange bathing suit and a hellish golden "disco smock", but personally, I was most appalled by Rami's unsexy, unsporty, un-everything creation in screaming pink with a hoola skirt. Granted, his client was perhaps the most annoying of the group, but anybody who attempts to cover massive boobs with draped pink spandex must be stopped.

I think after this uninspiring challenge I deserve a peek at the spoilers that will no doubt turn up after tomorrow's finale show at Fashion Week. Do we even know if 3 or 4 designers are showing? I believe Christian and Jillian are shoo-ins [an onomatopoeic word, first used in the context of horse-racing] and Rami would be my guess for #3 (unless he drapes the undrapable again). The annoying thing is that I would probably have chosen the exact same people after the first episode.

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