January 04, 2008

the syntax of design

This episode was just like a bar of Hershey's chocolate: Advertised as delicious, but with a cheap and industrial taste.

Yes, it's a Project Runway tradition that the contestants have to make a garment from unusual materials. Yes, there have been some spectacular results in the past (Michael's coffee filter dress, Jeffrey's paper dress with trompe l'oeil belt), but I just can't get excited about the choice of sponsor, which inevitably led to women looking like giant pieces of cheap confectionary, ready to perform in a corporate-sponsored production of the Nutcracker.

Ah, I'm cranky. No wonder: Elisa, sweet Elisa, who aspired to create a "fairytaleesque-type thing", which unfortunately didn't happen, is out. Elisa, we're gonna miss you! Who will now provide us with whirly metaphors and multisyllabic word creations? The other contestants don't even get their adverbs right.

Wunderkind Christian hurt my ears with his pompous, yet ungrammatical statement that he works " very instantaneous". Note: If you want to come across as smart and accomplished, don't forget about getting the details right. Such as the suffix on an adverb. Your work (noun) may be instantaneous (adjective), but you work (verb) instantaneously (adverb).

However, Christian wasn't alone in his ly-less corner. When the judges praised Rami's meticulous work, they used the expressions "he did good" (Heidi Klum) and "he did excellent" (Zac Posen). I'm sure that Rami, who seems to value flawless construction, would prefer some suffixes here.

Gillian, who created an ill-fitting dress made of twizzlers that the judges drooled over but that I absolutely hated (yes, it's hard to work with food, but she didn't have to and the result had nothing whatsoever do to with fashion), also needs to work on her grammar. She moped into the camera that she felt "the most frustrated feeling", but it was obvious that she was counting on praise from the judges for her strategic decision to use actual twizzlers for her design. Very frustrating.

You know that it's bad when even Tim seems to lose it ("Your five minutes begins now"). Subject-predicate agreement is such a beautiful thing!

So, let me "wander off now" (best exit words ever -- thanks, Elisa) and indulge in a piece of handmade chocolate and hope for a challenge that will truly bring us something fairytaleesque, even if it's not designed, spit-marked and imbued with energy by Elisa.

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