October 18, 2005

metrodog

so you live in new york city and need to have your dog walked by a dog walker. how much will it cost you? the rates are actually quite reasonable: downtown pets charges $15.00 for a 30 min walk, but wait, this is not an ordinary walk, it includes:

1. A cardio workout
2. A bathroom break
3. Improved leash etiquette
4. Reinforcement of basic training
5. Socialization
6. Constant petting and support
which probably translates into something like:
  1. let's go, buddy, i'm on a tight schedule.
  2. NO! not on the flowers! NO!!
  3. HEEL! i said HEEL!
  4. NO! LEAVE IT! i said LEAVE IT!! NO!!!
  5. "i'm really sorry. she doesn't normally do this. i'm only the dog walker, though. you can send the vet bill to the owner, here's their business card."
  6. comeon, let's wipe your paws off before we go inside. good girl. see you tomorrow.

No comments: